Questions (and Answers) You May Have If You Have Alcoholic Parents

Regardless of the child’s age, asking relevant questions and getting answers will be important to understand the impact of having an alcoholic parent.

Addiction doesn’t just harm those who struggle with substance use. Instead, it has far-reaching consequences that impact countless people. A person’s addiction can affect friends, loved ones, family members and even co-workers in many ways.

Perhaps no one is more affected by another’s alcohol use than the children of alcoholic parents. Children depend on their parents to meet and fulfill their physical and emotional health needs, so when a parent is busy managing the effects of their addiction, they have less time, energy and resources to devote to the child.

Being the child of an alcoholic parent means having a lot of questions that commonly go unanswered. Here are answers to some of the most pressing questions.

Effects of Having Alcoholic Parents

At first, children may not realize that their parents have alcohol use disorders. Their parents may conceal their use by sneaking around, drinking at odd times or hiding the evidence of abuse.

Some parents may make attempts to normalize their drinking. They may try to convince their kids that drinking excessively at the end of the day, constantly drinking to intoxication or drinking to cope with sadness are all common, expected behaviors.

Children can see the presence of alcohol abuse and alcohol use disorders by looking for clear signs. Parents with alcohol addiction often:

• Spend more time using and recovering from use of alcohol than others
• Make failed attempts to cut back or eliminate use
• Experience unwanted social, educational, occupational, legal, physical health or mental health effects of alcohol use
• Crave alcohol when none is available
• Only feel well when they are drinking

Addiction is marked by an intense focus on substance use and the substance itself, leaving little time for other priorities. The impact of this obsession results in children who are left to provide for themselves. New clothes, nutritious meals and a clean house may not be likely when parents are addicted. Parents who are addicted may also put their children in uncomfortable or dangerous situations based on their poor judgment. Even before birth, children may be exposed to alcohol in utero, which creates the risk of fetal alcohol syndrome.

As young children, addicted adults may provide poor childcare, let strangers supervise the child or drive under the influence of alcohol with children in the car. All of these can lead to very dangerous outcomes.

Mentally, a parent’s substance use issues can interrupt the healthy development of attachment, trust, emotional regulation and problem-solving. Without parents serving as positive examples, a child can engage in risky behaviors and grapple with limited abilities to self-soothe.

The Impact of Substance Use Disorders on Families

Substance use disorders affect the family unit in multiple lasting ways. Studies show that:

• Parents with a substance use disorder are three times more likely to physically or sexually abuse their child
• Abused children are 50% more likely to be arrested before age 18 and 40% more likely to commit a violent crime
• About 66% of those who sexually abuse their children use alcohol before the act

All of these factors may result in damaging consequences to the child, including medical and mental hardships, out-of-home placement and incarceration.

Questions Children of Alcoholics May Have About Alcohol Addiction

Understanding a parent’s alcoholism is challenging, no matter the child’s age. The situation is more complex and difficult for younger children, as their ability to fully accept the concept of addiction may be limited. Teens and adult children often have more complex questions and can play a more active role.

Young Children of Alcoholics

Some of the most common issues a young child may have include:

Teenage Children of Alcoholics

Teens have a different level of experience, information and development that influences the information they can handle. Some teens may even have firsthand experience with alcohol use.

Common questions teenagers ask about their parents’ alcohol use include:

Adult Children of Alcoholic Parents

Since the questions do not stop when the child turns 18, adult children of alcoholic parents can still have questions regarding addiction. The most common questions of adult children include:

Common Questions Children Have About Parents Going to Alcohol Rehab

The questions do not stop with active addiction; rehabilitation and the recovery process create many questions and issues as well. Questions that children of alcoholics may ask about rehab include:

How Rehab Facilitates Family Connection

Individual, group and family therapy sessions are important parts of the rehab experience at respected treatment centers like The Recovery Village at Baptist Health. During treatment, therapists will help facilitate family connections by:

• Educating all family members about addiction
• Teaching communication skills
• Conducting role-playing exercises to help build a better understanding of one another
• Building a team approach to address addiction
• Learning ways to reduce enabling behaviors
• Establishing and following through on boundaries

Facilitating family connections can begin in rehab, but it should continue long after inpatient rehab ends. Ideally, family therapy extends into the long term to continue building stronger relationships over time.

Resources for Children of Alcoholics

Luckily, many groups and organizations see the struggle that children of alcoholics face each day. Helpful resources for children of alcoholics include:

• Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization
• National Association for Children of Addiction
• Al-Anon Family Groups
• Alateen
• National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

If someone you love is struggling with an alcohol addiction, The Recovery Village at Baptist Health can help. Contact us today to learn more about treatment programs that can work well for your family’s situation.

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